Once they got past the whole “sandstorm blocking our exit to signal the end of the session from last time” thing, the party was able to move past the cave of torment and sealed molesters, and decided to blaze upon the trail! Except it was more like deciding where to go, as there were multiple options, most of them agreeable. They went THAT-A-WAY which was the way of a town marked on Leo’s map, but found another town before that as they got a bit lost on the way there (and two of the denser humans found themselves bickering and almost wrestling for a map).
This town was abandoned, deserted, and looked to have been that way for a pretty loooohohong time, as any building that wasn’t buried in sand was either empty and ransacked, or holding nothing of value, with one exception. Half the party was shortly entranced by a haunting musical melody drawing them in, and the other half went to investigate further into people’s houses, netting themselves a dusty old parchment detailing the plans of an ambush! Which… looked to be really old and probably outdated. However, they could still go investigate the ambush location, although Leo mentioned there weren’t really any towns in that direction marked on her dad’s map, so… huh.
Venn proved himself to be denser than a neutron star going supernova with the music-playing person of interest, and the party went on their merry way towards the allegedly-ambushing site. There was no ambush there, but there was a town that was unmarked in Leo’s map, and it looked to be an Order-aligned town! Which meant that all the monster girls in the party had to remain behind while the bozos (and Leo) went there to resupply on food, equipment and quests. After a pot devil, a teammate entering the negaverse through a time-space continuum fuckup when attempting to talk to a magician girl without pants, and a horrifying sewer trip, the group had stocked up on everything they needed, including but not limited to:
> tinyperson with a funny accent
And much, much more.
They still had plenty of time to travel before the sun killed them by going down on them (not in that way a sun girl would mean the party’s SOL ahaaaa_hahahaha_), so they set out towards the town marked on Leo’s papa’s map. This town was a hive of scum and villainy, to be sure, as most monster towns are. By scum and villainy I of course mean hot women and hot springs. It’s all hot. It’s a desert. That’s how we DO.
Venn deployed his usual tricks involving cards and shirt-removal and other things while Konrad, Rowen and Ellis investigated the massive pyramid, which as it turned out to be was something of a tourist location mixed with a God spa. As most pyramids are, of course. Ellis went the way of three wavy lines while Konrad and Rowen went the way of actually good things to behold. One party was assailed by a shouting God-doggy and one party was assaulted by a dangerous Mighty Cat, although neither situation came upon without slight provocation on the part of the heroes. Rowen patted the doggy and Ellis said he was single. Once you do that you’re just signing your death warrant, really.
Long story increheheeeedibly short, the JRPG protagonist was taken out by the doggy’s comeback shouting to his petting, which was somewhat along the lines of WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE MOTHERFUCKERRRRRS, while Ellis apparently decided that trying to pry the hot, damp semi-naked woman off of himself would take too long, and so he ran away while carrying her. This was about as good of an idea as you can expect. Venn soon joined the Konrad-Rowen side of the pyramid and managed to save a Rowen from further mental scarring by making him disappear and appear outside, and then the bookworm-clown combination was also shouted at for a long, long period of time, in intervals of GO AWAY AHH and WAIT DON’T GO I DIDN’T TELL YOU TO GO YET. Then Ellis arrived to deliver a well-timed HISSATSU to the doggernaut’s face… in the shape of a really light tap to the face.
Moral of the day: cat tats, dog bops.